it's NOT Friday yet

-

for once, I’m grateful it’s NOT Friday.. and that’s because I’m on reading break. Friday means it’s almost over... and I’m not ready for it to be over.
I was laying in bed this morning, enjoying the serenity of quiet and wonderfulness... realizing that next week I’d be back to getting up at 5am and spending 5 hours a day on transit... dealing with labs, lab reports, homework and exams.

I love it, and I hate it. I think that’s the general mantra of all students.

Yesterday I went on a tour of an analytical lab that I could potentially work at.. it’s energizing, people... the work I could be doing... I’m SO excited.. like for reals excited. Like a job where I could actually ENJOY going to work every day. I’m sure this is what people are supposed to feel like when they go to college. This is what the world is supposed to be like.

and yet.... I still can’t help but wonder if I’m going to be able to “have it all” .. I won’t graduate for 2 more years.... by then I’ll be 34 (going on 35)... and I want to have babies.. and work.. and maybe get my masters...

ACK!!!

Is there time for all this?

Plus.. what if my grades aren’t good enough to get me a job..? The company talked about how good vs great grades aren’t that big of a deal, but bad grades matter. I had ONE bad term where I only got 50% on two of my classes and then failed a class.... what if that one term makes the difference of job vs not... and then what am I supposed to do? What good is a degree if you can’t get hired?

Why can’t I ever stop worrying and stressing about things that could/might happen in the future?

Why can’t I ever stop worrying and stressing in general?


I write this as I put off working on my essay assignment that is worth 10% of my grade.

fuck.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur

-
Kitty, I don’t need help to go to the bathroom. “meow?” Kitty, I’ve given you loves… what else do you want? “meow?” Are you hungry? Do you need water? (cleans and refills water dish. Gives kitty a treat) There… happy now? “meow?” Fuck you kitty. (putting on pants in the morning, notice that there is about a pound of cat hair on them) Kitty… I just brushed  you last night.. how is this possible? “meow?” Seriously… how can you have your winter coat.. ALL YEAR LONG? “meow?” I swear… I’m shaving you bald. Would you like that? “meow?” Nevermind. (walking down the hallway to the bathroom first thing in the morning, suddenly a black mass of fuzz comes zooming past almost knocking me over) Kitty… is it really necessary for you to beat me to the bathroom door? “meow?” No really… you almost killed me…. again. “meow?” Do you even feel sorry? “meow?” One of these days kitty, one of these days....
Read more

dancing around the room like a fool

-
My summer term is FINALLY over! Now I can stop driving you all crazy with random tweets about organic chemistry and the excessive amount of negative energy I put out there before and after every midterm. I have massive self doubt, and even when I'm sure I know the material and have done a good job, I still don't believe I got a good grade. Part of it is because of my test anxiety, as I've NEVER scored well on tests before.  This term I don't expect to get the A- that I achieved for the first term, but I'm happy as long as I pass. Which I'm almost certain that I did. (did you catch that almost, there's my self doubt) On the heels of my great news, comes some sad news too. The bf has lost his job. Since he was the sole supporter of the family while I was in school, I don't know that I'll be able to attend full time classes this fall unless he finds a new job. Therefore, I've taken some precautionary measures. I've emailed regarding defer...
Read more

Did You Know.... chemistry is fun!

-
Image
did you know that chemistry is fun? I see you guys shaking your heads... but it is really.. I promise! Where else can you relate the geometry of molecules to porn stars boobs? ...CIS AND TRANS baby! (that probably won't make sense to 50% of you, but that's ok) It's also what makes up our entire universe... the UNIVERSE people... without chemistry, we wouldn't exist. That's basically all kinds of awesomesauce right there. You know what else you can do with chemistry... you can make bizarre analogies like USe your Vacuum while wAtching TV and Hang Your Shorts Please! (or something like that, I’m not quite sure) ALSO ... chemistry has BIG ligands.... like, real big. (it’s a good thing) ..oh, and “that’s what she said” this random post is brought to you by “Did You Know” from Just Jennifer and MotherhoodTruth ... you should definitely check them out... and link up.. cuz I’d like to know what you all know... and because Jen is super ...
Read more