mad scientist girl

so now that we have ferrets in our household... we have yet another animal to drive us crazy. Or me, at least.... it seems they always go after me. Sparky, stop chasing my feet! No really, I'm going to step on you. Stop chasing my feet does NOT mean bite my feet! Ouch you asshole! Fuck you, ferret. Stay out of my garbage can flower! That does not mean knock it over and play in its contents. You’re an asshole, ferret. Want a treat, sparky? NO, my hand is not the treat! My laptop is not for playing on flower! (two minutes later) Fuck! Sparky, like I told your sister my laptop is NOT for playing on. Stop tweeting for me, my followers don’t understand ferret. God damnit. Kitty, be nice to the sparky. Meow? Sparky stop biting the kitty! Kitty, I take it back.. don’t be nice. Sparky, leave the clothes on my drying rack alone! (two minutes later) I SAID, leave the clothes alone! (three minutes later) FUCKING HELL LEAVE THE CLOTHES ALO...

Kitty, I don’t need help to go to the bathroom. “meow?” Kitty, I’ve given you loves… what else do you want? “meow?” Are you hungry? Do you need water? (cleans and refills water dish. Gives kitty a treat) There… happy now? “meow?” Fuck you kitty. (putting on pants in the morning, notice that there is about a pound of cat hair on them) Kitty… I just brushed  you last night.. how is this possible? “meow?” Seriously… how can you have your winter coat.. ALL YEAR LONG? “meow?” I swear… I’m shaving you bald. Would you like that? “meow?” Nevermind. (walking down the hallway to the bathroom first thing in the morning, suddenly a black mass of fuzz comes zooming past almost knocking me over) Kitty… is it really necessary for you to beat me to the bathroom door? “meow?” No really… you almost killed me…. again. “meow?” Do you even feel sorry? “meow?” One of these days kitty, one of these days....