mad scientist girl

I had a dream last night with a bunch of friends in it. While it might not seem weird, the weird part is, most of these friends I haven't talked to in a long time. Like years. Except one, a friend I haven't talked to in only a few weeks. I'll set the scene: I was in a mall (always in the middle of a dream, just like Inception said)... and I see a group of women. It looks like a support group of some kind. They are talking about gender stereotypes or something... how hard it is to be a lesbian in today's world. (fucked if I know why they are in the middle of a mall) I see a girl who I used to know as Rainbow Skittle (or something to that affect) and another who was from Belize.. both of which I haven't talked to in years. Then I see my friend who I talked to recently (let's call her D)... and so I wave at her... then she breaks down crying and walks off with the other two girls. (It was really fucking bizarre, I don't even think those girls knew each other...

well, ok, it's not .... it's the Skagit River Bridge , and only part of it collapsed. Apparently by the fault of a Canadian trucker. Oops. You can't trust those inland people, I've been saying this for years.. ;) I had the WEIRDEST dream about the bridge ... they were using some old bridge that they hadn't used in years until they could fix it. Why in gods name would I dream about a bridge? There was a lot of other weird dreams last night. One combined minecraft, some old friends of mine and some annoying kids; this one is the most bizarre because we were IN a minecraft world where everything was blocks except us. There was a part where I had to take a bus through Seattle but I got lost at night and was running away from thugs. Of these series of dreams last night ... one was more bizarre than the last. I'm still sitting here kind of dazed. It's Friday today ... and I have no work and nothing else planned. I quite possibly might not get out of my pj's ...

so I woke up this morning after a dream where I was shopping to go out that night .. and getting ready.... seems like a normal dream, nothing too strange.... until you add to the fact that my mum was in it... my mum who passed away just over a year ago... I don't know why subconscious brain wants to hurt me ... but every time I dream about my mum... I get depressed all over again. I've been kind of depressed lately... so much homework and stuff around the house and just genuine SHIT .. that I can't focus and can't seem to smile. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK COCK SHIT DICK WANK ASS TWATWAFFLE DOUCHE CANOE FUCK FUCK FUCK BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER!!!! I just wrote a whole fucking rant and something went awol and fucking LOST it all!!! I was going to post a nice happy Things I Love Fridays after my rant but now I'm so fucking pissed off, I don't think I can even manage that! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Ok so... that's enough for today.. cuz of all the things...

so I forgot two weeks in a row now about Thursday Tunes.. and yesterday I had such a bad migraine that I couldn't even fathom doing my Things I Love Fridays blog.. my poor readers (all 9 of them) are sure disappointed, I'm sure. They are probably reading this in disgust thinking, well how is she going to make it up to us. How? I'm not, cuz I'm an asshole like that. Though I might have to scrap those regimented blog topics when I go back to school cuz of course Thursday and Friday are two of the 3 days that I'm at school til 5pm and I won't get home til almost 8pm. After relaxing and homework, this blog is probably going to take a back seat. Maybe I'll have to change it to Tuesday Tunes and Things I Hate Mondays... I kind of like that better, actually. Last night I had a very strange dream.. it's still fresh in my mind, so I'm going to recount it. Mostly for me, but all you out there in blogland are going to benefit as well from my retelling. I...

I'll start with the great news cuz I'm just so excited about it I want to BURST! A little backstory first.. my dad has leukemia and also had a cancerous lump in his throat. He went through surgery and chemo and so the lump and cancer was gone but he was still left with the leukemia. A little while ago his white cells spiked again so they thought they might have another type of cancer, in which case he might need more chemo to which he has refused cuz the last time was so awful! Well anyhow.. the good news.. he went for a biopsy last week and it turns out he doesn't have cancer!! I'm so excited about this as I only have my dad now (my mum passed last year) and so I really want him around as long as possible... I haven't had kids or gotten married yet and I'm worried my kids aren't going to have any grandparents on my side. OK .. so enough with that.. I started getting into the bad stuff again and I want to be a part of cheesy bloggers weekly post! This ...