mad scientist girl

so I've been playing a lot of call of duty: black ops 2 lately.... and even though I'm probably one of the most terrible players out there.. I don't care. I just have fun playing. One of the great things about being a horrible player, however, is that sometimes.. just sometimes you get a fucking hilarious moment like this one. I laughed so hard I cried.... I hope you do too. (and if you did, please share)

so I guess you're wondering what I've been up to lately? NO? well.. I’m going to tell you anyway. this is ALL I was doing.. I swear. ok no... I’ve actually been BUSY! My 2nd term started at school... and I’m taking 3 chemistry courses.. all chem electives.. as well as a laboratory course. The lab is probably the most work because there are 2 labs every week (for four hours each) and the lab reports are due one week later. So my weekends have been spent doing my labs.. and that’s basically it. I did take SOME time off to hang with friends and watch the Superbowl... (I must admit even though I hate Beyonce, she rocked the show).. and do SOME fun stuff with friends. I think life needs a balance.. so I’m trying really hard to not feel guilty about not doing hw to be social... it’s a work in progress. So anyhow... I’ve been busy busy... but it feels SO good to be back in classes again. I really did miss it last term when I was off. I didn’t miss studying though... lol. Wh...

today I'm taking time out of my busy pj wearing, chocolate eating schedule to review an amazing new book "Things Go Wrong For Me" by the Midget Man of Steel .. It's a hilarious book about his childhood as a fat kid, being a parent and adventures in vasectomy land.. and if you can make vasectomies funny.. well then... you have an idea of just how gut busting this book is... which btw.. includes funny pictures! Mr. Moooooog himself even stopped by an answered some questions about his new book.. Are you ever still amazed at how you made it past childhood without dying of a horrible self-induced accident? YES. Forget about the self-inflicted stuff I wrote about. The fact that I was a child of the 70's when kids rode on their parents' LAP in the driver's seat without those pesky seatbelts while everyone smoked and survived is a testament that I was meant for something else. Probably manual labor. What did your parents think about their part in som...

thanks to CrakGenius for giving me something to write about .. these days the ideas are flowing about as well as...well.. something that doesn't flow. uhh... yeah. Crak Genius gave me an award! The Liebster Award *happy dance* though .. I'm not sure that I really deserve it.. cuz I haven't written anything of value in months... if I ever did. but I'm going to accept the award as gracefully as I can (I think I already failed at that).. and play along. SO ... here are the questions I was supposed to answer: 11 Questions For Awardees Are you a grammar Nazi? (Spoiler: if you wanted to tell me that “awardees” isn’t a word… you are) yes, yes I am... as you can tell from my incredibly grammatically accurate blog post. *wink* but seriously.. I'm more of a spelling nazi and BASIC grammar nazi... like "your" vs "you're" ..or "it's" vs "its" ... mostly because it's NOT that fucking hard to read the sente...

we have the amazing and wonderful robot mommy here today doing an amazeballs guest post. She writes a hilarious blog about her life and her kids ... personally I don't know how she does it .. I can barely manage this blog and school so without further ado... here she is! Forever ago, I started writing about my kids. This little hobby of mine gave me the outlet to complain talk about their behavior, their little habits. Their joys and triumphs. My joys and triumphs. And I think... What if.... Oprah had kids? How would Oprah handle her kids? Would she discuss them on her network or would she, like me, become a blogger? Can you imagine?!? Hi. I'm Oprah, queen of the talk shows...richest woman alive from 1995 to 2010. I've decided to center my attention to how adorable, awesome and brilliant my children are because, let's face it, they are mine! I'm sure she'd go on and on on their academic aptitude and how they look like little Denzel Washingtons. She ...

Some people might say I’m crazy.... well... crazy is as crazy does.. or something like that. I’m starting to discover.. (or possibly I’ve known this all along).. that I’m NOT crazy... I’m normal.. it’s everyone else who is batshit insane. How do I know this? Well...... first off.. there are more of “us” than there are of “them” ..(and if you need proof I made a very scientific chart to show you) if you weren’t acting a bit odd after some life-altering moments... well then.. there might be something wrong with you. If you don’t find humor in the crazy occasionally ... there might be something wrong with you. Those are just a few of the reasons.. I quite often share with others that I’m crazy... but it’s ok cuz it’s normal to be crazy. I have noticed, however, that there are far more women toting the “crazy” than men.... and I’m not sure what that’s about .. either women are driven to levels of insanity due to the crazy things that men do to us... which is a complete...

no I’m not going all sister wives on you ... don’t get me kidding.. if I could get away with having a hubby that wasn’t constantly pestering me for sexy time cuz he was getting it on with his “other wife” and just indulge in sexy time when and if I felt like it... that might be ok.. maybe... now I’m all confused.. why aren’t we all in these kinds of relationships? well... I’m not going to try and solve the relationship woes of the world... mostly because I’m too tired after studying for my midterm for 5 hours and then working another 2 hours on lab prep... that I’m amazed I’m able to pull together a sentence that is even remotely coherent. I’m sidetracked again.. I think. What was my topic again? OH yes. love. SO .. it seems like the hate is all over the blogosphere lately... Oh, Noa. , socialassassin , "Jen" e sais quoi , Becky .. they are all feeling the hate. Which makes me oh so very happy.. but rather than just attach my own hate to their amazing awes...

Dear Vagina, W.T.F. dude? Dear Jaime, what? ..you have to be more specific.. I have lots going on down here, you know. Dear Vagina, what’s with the crazy period? Dear Jaime, Talk to the uterus... she’s all kinds of pissed off. Dear Vagina, what did I do now? Dear Jaime, I think it has to do with wasting another of the precious eggs. Dear Vagina, Isn’t that the ovaries concern? Why is the uterus getting her panties in a wad? Dear Jaime, Whatever.. all I know is that the bits down here are not happy with you. Dear Vagina, Well tell them to calm the eff down... I’ll have babies when and if I want to! ..You don’t own me uterus!! Dear Jaime, I think this means war. Dear Jaime, you know it wouldn’t hurt to spend a little time down here, right? Dear Vagina, and YOU know I have lots of shit going on right now... so just back the fuck off. Dear Jaime, lots of shit like what... which show to watch on Netflix or whether...

so I’ve finally had a break from my headache for the first time in almost a week... yesterday I couldn’t even function.. I took some migraine medication .. and it made me sleep for hours and I started to feel a little better, but then it creeped back in the evening so I took more medication. I had the weirdest dream too... for some reason there were these drink mixes that tasted super good.. and I had a bunch of them.. but then I was hanging out with TheBloggess and her book .. (which is awesome btw) was being featured at Burger King (or some fast food joint) and it even included Bloggess toys .. such as Juanita , Hamlet Von Schnitzel , Beyonce , etc... I wish this existed cuz I totally want a stuffie Hamlet Von Schnitzel... someone has to make this happen. Anyhow... weird dreams aside, I woke up totally and after some caramel macchiato goodness via my Tassimo ... I started feeling a little better. FINALLY.. so I thought I’d fulfill my tag from socialassasin and answer some questi...

so now that we have ferrets in our household... we have yet another animal to drive us crazy. Or me, at least.... it seems they always go after me. Sparky, stop chasing my feet! No really, I'm going to step on you. Stop chasing my feet does NOT mean bite my feet! Ouch you asshole! Fuck you, ferret. Stay out of my garbage can flower! That does not mean knock it over and play in its contents. You’re an asshole, ferret. Want a treat, sparky? NO, my hand is not the treat! My laptop is not for playing on flower! (two minutes later) Fuck! Sparky, like I told your sister my laptop is NOT for playing on. Stop tweeting for me, my followers don’t understand ferret. God damnit. Kitty, be nice to the sparky. Meow? Sparky stop biting the kitty! Kitty, I take it back.. don’t be nice. Sparky, leave the clothes on my drying rack alone! (two minutes later) I SAID, leave the clothes alone! (three minutes later) FUCKING HELL LEAVE THE CLOTHES ALO...

Ok, I know I’ve been absent for the better part of a few months now. I wrote one blog in all of January and it was barely even funny. I really don’t have an excuse other than I’ve been working through my issues … I’m on medication now and it’s really helped, but I’ve been using all my creative juices for my creative writing class…. And the story I wrote (which I shared in my previous post ) was one that was dear to my heart. It wasn’t the story of my life, but I did pull some details from my own memories. It was a hard journey to undertake and I’m still feeling the after effects. I’m hoping soon I’ll get back into my regular habit of blogging and reading (and commenting) other blogs…. Cuz I miss it! So without further ado…. I was tagged by the wonderful and amazingly funny Sarcasm Goddess …. She asked me some hard questions and I’ve done my best to give you answers that are not only accurate but fucking bizarre as well... I want you to leave here scratching your head, in a good w...

Kitty, I don’t need help to go to the bathroom. “meow?” Kitty, I’ve given you loves… what else do you want? “meow?” Are you hungry? Do you need water? (cleans and refills water dish. Gives kitty a treat) There… happy now? “meow?” Fuck you kitty. (putting on pants in the morning, notice that there is about a pound of cat hair on them) Kitty… I just brushed  you last night.. how is this possible? “meow?” Seriously… how can you have your winter coat.. ALL YEAR LONG? “meow?” I swear… I’m shaving you bald. Would you like that? “meow?” Nevermind. (walking down the hallway to the bathroom first thing in the morning, suddenly a black mass of fuzz comes zooming past almost knocking me over) Kitty… is it really necessary for you to beat me to the bathroom door? “meow?” No really… you almost killed me…. again. “meow?” Do you even feel sorry? “meow?” One of these days kitty, one of these days....

so ... I'm SUPER excited to announce two things.... the first being my blog has over 2000 total views!!! This is pretty exciting for me considering I'm not sure why you people even read my horrible grammar and random thoughts... but for all that do.. thank you so much! You all make me feel like I'm not alone... and not just in the squishy heart three times its size kind of way... also in the "I love bacon so much I could eat it every day" kind of way... which is equally important, IMO. Second... the awesome spork queen of tazerwarriorprincess nominated me for a Versatile Blogger Award... now I've never won a blog award... so this kind of makes me want to scream.. out loud... but I can't cuz the kidlet is sleeping... so I'll meep. *meep* ok... moving on. Thanks SO much tazer... not only are you as funny as a video of a guy getting hit in the balls (come on.. even guys laugh at this shit)... but you also share my love for animals, goofy photogra...