mad scientist girl

so I'm getting shit done today... you know.. adult type stuff. I got my registration date for my fall semester, so I diligently checked whether there are any issues with my registration and of course one of my classes says I don't have the pre-reqs because of the way they put my credits in the system. As well, the lab course only has 5 spots available and so of course it's already full. The adult thing I've done: email the department well before I have to register so that the issues can be resolved. I started my student loan application, but this year the bf and I are technically considered to be common-law married ... so I have to get a new form that he has to fill out and submit before I submit my application. They want to make sure that he isn't making enough money to support both our living AND paying for me to go to school. The adult thing I've done: print out the form and get it filled out and mailed by the end of the week so I can submit my applic...

everyone is posting about their registration dates for fall semester.... they are all happy and excited. I haven't gotten my date yet. I haven't even been contacted regarding my promotion to 3rd year. Apparently they are still deciding. Even though I had a 75% average this past term.. and a 77% average the term before that. It makes me want to scream! I had ONE bad term where I failed a course and I feel like it's haunting me and following me around. Just like my mothers passing... I feel like demons are just constantly trailing behind me. and I just went through my credits and it seems like I'm missing like 5 300+ level credits... wtf dude. It's effing impossible to get 300+ level electives because most have pre-reqs that are 100 or 200 level. So I might be in school for one more term. fml

one job ... that's all I have thus far. While on the surface, working four days a week for an hour seems like something out of fairy tales... (and it is).. it also means I have no money whatsoever... being broke really fucking sucks, in case you weren't aware. my one job is going really great... so at least there is that. Also we got the house cleaned this past weekend .... actually took the ferret cage apart and power washed it... AND I power washed the back walkway and deck... I felt so grown up! Strangely... it was oddly relaxing. Anyone else experience this sense of calm and zen while power washing? (it might just be me) Sadly that's the only bit of calm and zen I've been feeling.... I'm in a bit of a depression rut right now... feeling like I keep getting knocked down no matter what I do.. and that every decision I made is wrong. I'm afraid to make any decision anymore because I'm worried I'm going to make the wrong one. That's really ho...

I blogged about my good and bad news a couple weeks ago ... and now, with only a week and a half left until school starts... I really need to seriously think about what I'm going to do. As of yet, the bf has no serious job prospects ... and I have a few. I have one that I'd REALLY like to do ... which I did a couple years ago... working at a photo lab that does school photo's. It's temporary... I only work from Sept until Dec... I can wear jeans n stuff to work... AND I can work as many hours as I'd like.. which means for those three months I can make some good money. This will work out in a few ways... because not only will we be able to afford to live .... I might also be able to save up some $$ for school... which is always helpful. The downside is .. of course.. that I'll be taking a semester off school... which puts of my graduation date even further.... I feel like I've been going to school FOREVER.. and I've been putting off having a baby unti...

I'm just so tired of fighting... it feels like every step in my life has been uphill. I just found out today that they aren't promoting me to 3rd year status because two of the classes I did in my term 1, were below 60% and I need to have completed 60% of my classes with a 60% standing. If they need a 60% standing, then why don't they make the passing grade 60%? That makes sense, don't you think? My term 1 was just a hellstorm.... most of you know cuz you were right here with me.. I was dealing with my mums suicide (still) ... and all the conditions I had before (anxiety, depression) were amplified because of my her passing as well as all the new stress I was under from school and life... It caused me to be physically ill before every test I took that term... and partly due to that is why I failed Ochem (which is why I'm taking it again this summer).. and why my other two classes that term are below 60% ... according to the doctor what I have is considered a dis...

so I’m looking through my course list and categorizing all the classes I need to take for my degree.... I’ve colour coded it... put it into a table... listed the number of credits... for every term for the next two years (or more) what I completely forgot is that for a degree you need 48 of your total credits to be 300/400 level classes... which I have.. but only if I take extra classes every term OR if I take an extra year of school... now I’m conflicted.. I really just want to be done.. I’ve been in school for what seems like forever... in reality it’s only been 3 years at community college, 1 quarter at UW, and 1 year at UBC... but there was a lot of “in between” time... where I wasn’t in school (though looking back I should have been)... but I was living life and whatnot. I should have been done ages ago but because of these decisions I’ve made the past 5 years.. I’m not. It hurts my soul to think that almost every decision I’ve made over the past 5 years has been wrong. Hell...