mad scientist girl

Kitty, I don’t need help to go to the bathroom. “meow?” Kitty, I’ve given you loves… what else do you want? “meow?” Are you hungry? Do you need water? (cleans and refills water dish. Gives kitty a treat) There… happy now? “meow?” Fuck you kitty. (putting on pants in the morning, notice that there is about a pound of cat hair on them) Kitty… I just brushed  you last night.. how is this possible? “meow?” Seriously… how can you have your winter coat.. ALL YEAR LONG? “meow?” I swear… I’m shaving you bald. Would you like that? “meow?” Nevermind. (walking down the hallway to the bathroom first thing in the morning, suddenly a black mass of fuzz comes zooming past almost knocking me over) Kitty… is it really necessary for you to beat me to the bathroom door? “meow?” No really… you almost killed me…. again. “meow?” Do you even feel sorry? “meow?” One of these days kitty, one of these days....

Welcome to this weeks…  I put some words together that hopefully make sense and are remotely funny. Tonight I am talking vagina. Now boys.. you don’t have to turn away.. don’t close the window… you could learn something. Probably not, but read anyway. And comment.. I love comments. They make me all squishy and happy and want to run around my house in my pjs high fiving the air and yelling “they love me, they really, really love me” /Jim Carrey moment. Back to the topic at hand… You ever thought about how much power you can wield with your vagina? And no I don’t mean like lifting heavy objects with it like it’s a crane. That would just be weird. Although I’m sure there is a guy out there somewhere reading this going.. “mmmmmmmmmmmm.. crane vagina” And now I’m creeped out. Back on topic… again. Vagina Power. What does it mean? What does it stand for? How does it work? Here are some examples. you like a guy and you’re pretty sure he wants ...

You ever notice how there are certain inane things that women understand that men just don't "get" ...now one could argue that it is simply cuz women are insane ... and so therefore in order to import order into our lives.. we create all these things that only we understand... which could be true.. but that is besides the point... our mistake however.. is assuming that men will understand them as well.... now some men ..for whatever reason are in tune to these things.. and "get" them... (and no I'm not just talking about the gay men)..  One of these things is our rationalization in regards to food... as women we are always concerned with what we are putting into our bodies.. even if we don't exercise regularly or even generally eat healthy.. we still are always thinking in the back deep recesses of our brains ... how "bad" a certain food is.. or how "good" another food is... for example.. fruit is good.. it's healthy.. the fact th...

first off.. I want to welcome my new readers! Thanks so much for reading and hopefully you'll continue to read and enjoy my blog. I love you all so much... just want to SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE you all. but not too much, cuz I'm not a serial killer. I promise. ok... so this week I'm too stressed out from midterms and studying, but I still want to bring you some new shit... so I'm going to do something really rad. wait for it........ wait for it.................. ok, I got nothing. just kidding! ... since the invention of the internet there have been YouTube videos. I think. I'm not quite sure, since the whole inception of the internet has been quite debated and at this point I don't really care. Regardless... the internet is rad and so are YouTube videos. So I'm going to share with you some of my favorite videos that make me pee my pants a little, no matter how many times I've seen them. BRING IT ON! DISCLAIMER - most of these videos are...

Dear Vagina, Thanks for being such a trooper this month. I finally know what it means to have a happy period. Dear Jaime, Don’t thank me… thank the hormones. They’ve been AWOL for a while now. Dear Vagina, What? Where did they go? Dear Jaime, They’ve been recruited to deal with all the extra stress you’ve been going through lately. You just need to chill the fuck out. Dear Vagina, Well, if it helps me have awesome months like this… I’ll be glad to stay stressed out 24/7 Dear Jaime, Well that’s all fine and dandy… but don’t blame me when you die early of a heart attack or sudden embolism. Dear Vagina, You’re kind of a snide bitch, you know that? Dear Jaime, I am, so you don’t have to be. Dear Jaime, Hey… you wanna work on some vaginascaping.. I’m feeling a little neglected down here. You aren’t going to get any play looking like a wookie, ya know. Dear Vagina, In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been a little busy with school a...

I totally fucking forgot to write about myself yesterday when I was given a blog award... (read about it here ). SO ... I'm supposed to talk about myself. well... shit. OK then... if I have to do this, you're coming along with me... no... don't try to run away now.. I've got you in my clutches. mwah ha ha ha ha ok so pay attention.. you'll be tested on it later (sidenote: my dad used to say that ALL the time when I was a kid and I just remembered.. what a pleasant memory.. I remember him always saying that about random things, but there was never any test.. I love my dad) Welllllllllllll.... I'm a chemistry student at the University of British Columbia but this is actually the first time I'm studying post secondary education in my home country.. .I've done all my other post secondary education in the US. I am TERRIFIED of bugs... like.. all kinds of bugs.. I may have even tried jumping out of a moving vehicle one time when a bug la...

so ... I'm SUPER excited to announce two things.... the first being my blog has over 2000 total views!!! This is pretty exciting for me considering I'm not sure why you people even read my horrible grammar and random thoughts... but for all that do.. thank you so much! You all make me feel like I'm not alone... and not just in the squishy heart three times its size kind of way... also in the "I love bacon so much I could eat it every day" kind of way... which is equally important, IMO. Second... the awesome spork queen of tazerwarriorprincess nominated me for a Versatile Blogger Award... now I've never won a blog award... so this kind of makes me want to scream.. out loud... but I can't cuz the kidlet is sleeping... so I'll meep. *meep* ok... moving on. Thanks SO much tazer... not only are you as funny as a video of a guy getting hit in the balls (come on.. even guys laugh at this shit)... but you also share my love for animals, goofy photogra...

this weeks theme from Cheesy Bloggers is PETS ! I LOVE animals... like seriously.. I love animals.. I've always loved animals.. ever since I can remember I've had an affinity for animals... When I was a kid my imaginary family even had pets.... beware of the horse, he bites. Then as I got older, I would go over to peoples houses and they would have a dog and they'd say, "oh... don't pet my dog, he's kind of mean" and two seconds later that same dog would be rolling on it's back with me rubbing its belly. I don't know why.. I just seem to have this way with animals. I even volunteered at the local SPCA when I was younger cuz I loved being around animals. At one time in college I thought about being a vet... but then I realized that I love animals more than I love people.. and I don't think I could put an animal down.. even if I knew it was what needed to be done. I got my first pet when I was 5... she was a purebred siamese kitten.. I cal...

it hurts, mmm'kay 125 , a photo by jselizabeth on Flickr. so this weekend I've been totally incapacitated by a migraine .. so I didn't do any homework, housework... or anything at all really... I actually napped most of yesterday in between bouts of sobbing in utter agony. It's so hard to even rest when your brain is pounding in your ears... even as I type this I can feel it wanting to return... just tapping on the back of my forehead like, "hey dude, I'm here to render you unable to do anything but lay down on the couch and be pathetic for the next 12 hours" but anyhow.. this is supposed to be a Silent Sunday post... so here it is... in all it's fally goodness.