but it's COLD outside!
my contribution to Cheesy Bloggers for this weeks theme Back To Nature has to do with a fateful camping trip I took when I was 15.......
A friend of mine was really into camping and hiking and asked me along on a camping trip on Easter weekend. I was super excited as it would be a co-ed trip and away from my parents for a weekend. He told me it would be a short hike followed by two nights camping, and all I needed was a sleeping bag, clothes and food. He said all the other stuff would be provided as he had extra (which he later denied saying). Then he laid the bomb on me.....
"oh and please come... cuz if you don't come then Prudey Shirley (I don't remember her name) can't come cuz it's only boys"
(this is where I should have known that the entire trip was going to be a disaster)
"so basically you like Prudey Shirley and want a chance to make out with her without the parents around... so you need me to come so her parents know there is another girl there to possibly prevent her from catching the clap from kissing you"
(sidenote: I knew you couldn't catch the clap from kissing, but like most teenager girls I was overly dramatic)
"yes, basically.... please come, it'll be tons of fun"
(another clue that I should have avoided this debacle from the get-go....... he was OVERLY enthusiastic about the amount of fun you can have in the middle of the woods with no amenities.. then again.. he really DID like camping and hiking a lot, but still... this was before the age of iPods and you can only read until the sun goes down.. how much fun is THAT?)
"ok fine... I'll come"
The long weekend was upon us and we drove out in two minivans driven by parents to the start of our hike. They got us all set up and ready to go and then deserted us, smiling and waving goodbye.. (leaving us to possibly be mauled by woodland creatures).
1st in the weekend of doom!
The backpack... I was lent one of those metal frame backpacks to put all my gear in. The only problem was I had never used one of these backpacks before... and part way up the trail I fell down... on my butt. Consequently, because my backpack was so heavy I fell backward and was stuck on my back.
Just imagine a turtle... stuck on its back.
img courtesy of Google Images
*take a moment to laugh, you know you want to.
When I was finally able to right myself with the help of some friends... the rest of the hike was rather enjoyable. All three hours of it.. short hike my ASS!
After many hours and grumbling later, we made it to the top of the mountain where we planned on camping. We set up our tents and the guys set up tarps over our tents in case it rained. (this will be important later)
Prudey Shirley and I watched while the boys attempt to make a fire... and eventually they got the fire going. By that point it was time to make some food.... and so I got out my Sapporo Ichiban.
img courtesy of ramenramenramen.net
It's what Canadians have for ramen noodles.
Anyhow, I got out my Ichiban and asked if I could borrow a pot to cook it in.
"You didn't bring cooking stuff and utensils?"
"No, you told me I didn't have to"
"No I didn't"
"Yes you did"
This went back and forth for a little while before Prudey Shirley offered to lend me her stuff after she was done with it... the ONLY decent thing she did all weekend. The only thing was I had to wait til she was finished and so I ended up eating alone while everyone else was enjoying s'mores. By the time I was done, I was too tired to bother with s'mores and just went straight to bed.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm s'mores.
img courtesy of Google Images
The night was relatively uneventful.. no bear attacks, sasquatch invasions or random woodland creature maulings.
2nd in the weekend of doom!
The Snow! yes... in the middle of the night, it snowed. It didn't snow a lot, just a light dusting but snow is snow.. who camps in the snow?!
A few of us spent the day in the boys tent playing cards and keeping warm while a couple of the guys went on a day hike in the snow. It continued to snow lightly all day.... and though it wasn't super cold, it wasn't exactly prime camping conditions.
The evening was the same as the night before with me eating last after everyone else had finished, just in the snow.
The night before a little water flowed through the boys tent and one of the guys (we'll call him Frozen Dude) got wet and decided he didn't want to sleep there so he slept in my tent. Prudey Shirley was more than happy to sleep with my friend so everyone all slept close together in the boys tent to keep warm and to avoid the wet corner.
It took us awhile to get to sleep ... as Prudey Shirley and my friend were kissing and laughing while Frozen Dude yelled at them to shut up. He also was chattering a lot from the cold cuz of his wet sleeping bag.
That morning WOULD have been like the previous morning waking up all relaxed and refreshed..
EXCEPT...............
instead we woke up to the sounds of crashing as the tent collapsed in on us from the weight of the snow!
Yes... the way the guys set up our tarps allowed the snow to build up.. and because it snowed really hard in the middle of the night... the weight of the snow broke the stick they used to mount the tarp.
I started screaming in terror cuz it felt like I had been buried alive!
"HELP!!!!! We're trapped in our tent"
"but it's COLD outside"
"get out here and HELP us!!!!"
"I'm comfortable"
My 'friends' wouldn't even help me and Frozen Dude get out of our collapsed tent!
Frozen Dude and I managed to get out of our tent (obviously) after much struggle.. and then screamed at our friends for abandoning us when we needed help.
As we were packing up one of the parents showed up because they saw on the weather channel that there had been severe snowfall in the mountains.
YOU THINK?!!!!
He helped us make our way down the mountain.. even trading off carrying our packs when we were too tired or sore. By the time we got to the bottom of the mountain to meet with the other parents we were covered in mud and soaking wet.
Frozen Dude ended up getting hypothermia and had to be taken to the hospital.
Prudey Shirley and my friend broke up a few months later.
I haven't spoken to any of them since.
A friend of mine was really into camping and hiking and asked me along on a camping trip on Easter weekend. I was super excited as it would be a co-ed trip and away from my parents for a weekend. He told me it would be a short hike followed by two nights camping, and all I needed was a sleeping bag, clothes and food. He said all the other stuff would be provided as he had extra (which he later denied saying). Then he laid the bomb on me.....
"oh and please come... cuz if you don't come then Prudey Shirley (I don't remember her name) can't come cuz it's only boys"
(this is where I should have known that the entire trip was going to be a disaster)
"so basically you like Prudey Shirley and want a chance to make out with her without the parents around... so you need me to come so her parents know there is another girl there to possibly prevent her from catching the clap from kissing you"
(sidenote: I knew you couldn't catch the clap from kissing, but like most teenager girls I was overly dramatic)
"yes, basically.... please come, it'll be tons of fun"
(another clue that I should have avoided this debacle from the get-go....... he was OVERLY enthusiastic about the amount of fun you can have in the middle of the woods with no amenities.. then again.. he really DID like camping and hiking a lot, but still... this was before the age of iPods and you can only read until the sun goes down.. how much fun is THAT?)
"ok fine... I'll come"
The long weekend was upon us and we drove out in two minivans driven by parents to the start of our hike. They got us all set up and ready to go and then deserted us, smiling and waving goodbye.. (leaving us to possibly be mauled by woodland creatures).
1st in the weekend of doom!
The backpack... I was lent one of those metal frame backpacks to put all my gear in. The only problem was I had never used one of these backpacks before... and part way up the trail I fell down... on my butt. Consequently, because my backpack was so heavy I fell backward and was stuck on my back.
Just imagine a turtle... stuck on its back.
img courtesy of Google Images
*take a moment to laugh, you know you want to.
When I was finally able to right myself with the help of some friends... the rest of the hike was rather enjoyable. All three hours of it.. short hike my ASS!
After many hours and grumbling later, we made it to the top of the mountain where we planned on camping. We set up our tents and the guys set up tarps over our tents in case it rained. (this will be important later)
Prudey Shirley and I watched while the boys attempt to make a fire... and eventually they got the fire going. By that point it was time to make some food.... and so I got out my Sapporo Ichiban.
img courtesy of ramenramenramen.net
It's what Canadians have for ramen noodles.
Anyhow, I got out my Ichiban and asked if I could borrow a pot to cook it in.
"You didn't bring cooking stuff and utensils?"
"No, you told me I didn't have to"
"No I didn't"
"Yes you did"
This went back and forth for a little while before Prudey Shirley offered to lend me her stuff after she was done with it... the ONLY decent thing she did all weekend. The only thing was I had to wait til she was finished and so I ended up eating alone while everyone else was enjoying s'mores. By the time I was done, I was too tired to bother with s'mores and just went straight to bed.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm s'mores.
img courtesy of Google Images
The night was relatively uneventful.. no bear attacks, sasquatch invasions or random woodland creature maulings.
2nd in the weekend of doom!
The Snow! yes... in the middle of the night, it snowed. It didn't snow a lot, just a light dusting but snow is snow.. who camps in the snow?!
A few of us spent the day in the boys tent playing cards and keeping warm while a couple of the guys went on a day hike in the snow. It continued to snow lightly all day.... and though it wasn't super cold, it wasn't exactly prime camping conditions.
The evening was the same as the night before with me eating last after everyone else had finished, just in the snow.
The night before a little water flowed through the boys tent and one of the guys (we'll call him Frozen Dude) got wet and decided he didn't want to sleep there so he slept in my tent. Prudey Shirley was more than happy to sleep with my friend so everyone all slept close together in the boys tent to keep warm and to avoid the wet corner.
It took us awhile to get to sleep ... as Prudey Shirley and my friend were kissing and laughing while Frozen Dude yelled at them to shut up. He also was chattering a lot from the cold cuz of his wet sleeping bag.
That morning WOULD have been like the previous morning waking up all relaxed and refreshed..
EXCEPT...............
instead we woke up to the sounds of crashing as the tent collapsed in on us from the weight of the snow!
Yes... the way the guys set up our tarps allowed the snow to build up.. and because it snowed really hard in the middle of the night... the weight of the snow broke the stick they used to mount the tarp.
I started screaming in terror cuz it felt like I had been buried alive!
"HELP!!!!! We're trapped in our tent"
"but it's COLD outside"
"get out here and HELP us!!!!"
"I'm comfortable"
My 'friends' wouldn't even help me and Frozen Dude get out of our collapsed tent!
Frozen Dude and I managed to get out of our tent (obviously) after much struggle.. and then screamed at our friends for abandoning us when we needed help.
As we were packing up one of the parents showed up because they saw on the weather channel that there had been severe snowfall in the mountains.
YOU THINK?!!!!
He helped us make our way down the mountain.. even trading off carrying our packs when we were too tired or sore. By the time we got to the bottom of the mountain to meet with the other parents we were covered in mud and soaking wet.
Frozen Dude ended up getting hypothermia and had to be taken to the hospital.
Prudey Shirley and my friend broke up a few months later.
I haven't spoken to any of them since.
this is the reason I've only gone camping twice in a tent in 15 years... I'm a sissy too!
ReplyDeleteI have never been camping like that. I always wanted to. I mean, I've never carried everything in on my back. I've done the whole drive there, set up, sit around a fire thing about a million times.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm not so sure I would want to. Snow collapse. Huh. Anyway, good to know that nobody got the clap. Or did they?
Yet another reason I don't do real camping lol :). Ahh the innocence of youth. I can totally see myself being in a similar situation back then.
ReplyDeleteHoly crap. That sounds like a nightmare. I'm honestly kinda stressed out right now. Thanks for giving me permission to laugh though, cuz I totally did at the image of you on your back like a turtle.
ReplyDeletemmmmmm... smores....
ReplyDelete