where my brain hates me ...and other such nonsense

-
so I woke up this morning after a dream where I was shopping to go out that night .. and getting ready.... seems like a normal dream, nothing too strange.... until you add to the fact that my mum was in it... my mum who passed away just over a year ago... I don't know why subconscious brain wants to hurt me ... but every time I dream about my mum... I get depressed all over again. I've been kind of depressed lately... so much homework and stuff around the house and just genuine SHIT .. that I can't focus and can't seem to smile.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK COCK SHIT DICK WANK ASS TWATWAFFLE DOUCHE CANOE FUCK FUCK FUCK BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

I just wrote a whole fucking rant and something went awol and fucking LOST it all!!! I was going to post a nice happy Things I Love Fridays after my rant but now I'm so fucking pissed off, I don't think I can even manage that!


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!


Ok so... that's enough for today.. cuz of all the things I was going to post ... I don't have time now to post them cuz i have to eat breakfast before I go to class for the day!

Hope everyone else has a great Friday... and a great weekend!

Comments

  1. GeishaGirlSeptember 30, 2011 at 8:51 AM

    *BIG HUG* I'm right there with you . . . not for the exact same reasons, but I totally understand.
    Sweetheart - I normally have dreams about doing things with my mom close to when she died each year . . . a totally normal dream doing something ordinary, just with my mom there with me. I like to think of it as getting to spend time with her, if only in dreams. I have tears right now thinking about it, but it could be from my lack of sleep (I'm always super emotional on little sleep) - anyway, I usually wake up feeling good and then realize she's not there and feel a little lost. It does get better over time. It's kind of a reminder she's still there, just in a different way.
    I have my own ranting blog to write about my tough day/week, so you'll see my reasons soon.
    As always, thanks for sharing - even if it didn't all get posted.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Angela@BeggingTheAnswerOctober 1, 2011 at 6:05 AM

    Doh! I hate when that happens to my posts.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur

-
Kitty, I don’t need help to go to the bathroom. “meow?” Kitty, I’ve given you loves… what else do you want? “meow?” Are you hungry? Do you need water? (cleans and refills water dish. Gives kitty a treat) There… happy now? “meow?” Fuck you kitty. (putting on pants in the morning, notice that there is about a pound of cat hair on them) Kitty… I just brushed  you last night.. how is this possible? “meow?” Seriously… how can you have your winter coat.. ALL YEAR LONG? “meow?” I swear… I’m shaving you bald. Would you like that? “meow?” Nevermind. (walking down the hallway to the bathroom first thing in the morning, suddenly a black mass of fuzz comes zooming past almost knocking me over) Kitty… is it really necessary for you to beat me to the bathroom door? “meow?” No really… you almost killed me…. again. “meow?” Do you even feel sorry? “meow?” One of these days kitty, one of these days.
Read more

pounding, pounding....

-
Image
my head has been pounding for days now .... not a migraine, but a headache. Not to diminish it, cuz this headache is still really painful and annoying. I just want to lay in bed and do nothing. Instead I have to go to work. I do like my job... but I really dislike doing it when I have a headache. this love/hate relationship leads me back to humpday.... so I'm going to share some more songs I love to hate. reason I love this song - it's an awesome song reason I hate this song - every time I hear it, I can't help but picture Liv Tyler and Alicia Silverstone in the video. reason I love this song - it's got a great beat and I love the bass line reason I hate this song - the one lyric in the song, "maybe I should just kill myself" reason I love this song - who doesn't love this song? reason I hate this song - every time you hear this song played in a bar people sing the Britney Spears version. reason I love this song - because it's Bif Naked
Read more

a list that makes you grateful you don't live my life...

-
Image
it's like I'm a fucking saint, yo.... helping others be grateful for their own lives just by the simple fact that they don't live my shitstorm of a fucking existence. So..... it's Monday. What does that mean? Well... not much for me cuz I'm done with classes, but I should probably be studying.  Am I? fuck no! .. I'm taking after Noa's science ......... oh.. and thanks to Jen as well for a Monday distraction with listicles.... except my listicle is a little less Christmas Cheer .. and a little more ... fucking balls (that's for you beausaphine ).    I had a final exam on my birthday…. It was bad…. Very bad….on the plus side? The TA’s are going to get a kick out of all the doodles I did on my scratch paper. My eye is swollen AGAIN… last week I had a stye on my lower eyelid… and now the inside of my top eyelid is swollen… I’m thinking my eye is trying to tell me I’m ready for vacation I’ve been fighting a cold for the past few weeks n
Read more