Friday, September 30

where my brain hates me ...and other such nonsense

so I woke up this morning after a dream where I was shopping to go out that night .. and getting ready.... seems like a normal dream, nothing too strange.... until you add to the fact that my mum was in it... my mum who passed away just over a year ago... I don't know why subconscious brain wants to hurt me ... but every time I dream about my mum... I get depressed all over again. I've been kind of depressed lately... so much homework and stuff around the house and just genuine SHIT .. that I can't focus and can't seem to smile.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK COCK SHIT DICK WANK ASS TWATWAFFLE DOUCHE CANOE FUCK FUCK FUCK BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

I just wrote a whole fucking rant and something went awol and fucking LOST it all!!! I was going to post a nice happy Things I Love Fridays after my rant but now I'm so fucking pissed off, I don't think I can even manage that!


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!


Ok so... that's enough for today.. cuz of all the things I was going to post ... I don't have time now to post them cuz i have to eat breakfast before I go to class for the day!

Hope everyone else has a great Friday... and a great weekend!

2 comments:

  1. *BIG HUG* I'm right there with you . . . not for the exact same reasons, but I totally understand.
    Sweetheart - I normally have dreams about doing things with my mom close to when she died each year . . . a totally normal dream doing something ordinary, just with my mom there with me. I like to think of it as getting to spend time with her, if only in dreams. I have tears right now thinking about it, but it could be from my lack of sleep (I'm always super emotional on little sleep) - anyway, I usually wake up feeling good and then realize she's not there and feel a little lost. It does get better over time. It's kind of a reminder she's still there, just in a different way.
    I have my own ranting blog to write about my tough day/week, so you'll see my reasons soon.
    As always, thanks for sharing - even if it didn't all get posted.

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  2. Doh! I hate when that happens to my posts.

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