Thursday, May 3

Conversations with my Vagina ..Part Two!


Dear Vagina,
W.T.F. dude?

Dear Jaime,
what? ..you have to be more specific.. I have lots going on down here, you know.

Dear Vagina,
what’s with the crazy period?

Dear Jaime,
Talk to the uterus... she’s all kinds of pissed off.

Dear Vagina,
what did I do now?

Dear Jaime,
I think it has to do with wasting another of the precious eggs.

Dear Vagina,
Isn’t that the ovaries concern? Why is the uterus getting her panties in a wad?

Dear Jaime,
Whatever.. all I know is that the bits down here are not happy with you.

Dear Vagina,
Well tell them to calm the eff down... I’ll have babies when and if I want to! ..You don’t own me uterus!!

Dear Jaime,
I think this means war.



Dear Jaime,
you know it wouldn’t hurt to spend a little time down here, right?

Dear Vagina,
and YOU know I have lots of shit going on right now... so just back the fuck off.

Dear Jaime,
lots of shit like what... which show to watch on Netflix or whether to eat cookies or chips for breakfast?

Dear Vagina,
Fuck you.

Dear Jaime,
that’s kind of the idea here.

Dear Vagina,
Give me 10 minutes



Dear Vagina,
Do you like the new razor I got?

Dear Jaime,
It’s definitely a lot better than the other one... strips of moisture my ass!

Dear Vagina,
yeah no shit.. whatever happened to truth in advertising?

Dear Jaime,
fucked if I know.. I lost all faith after those “stay fresh” douche commercials... not cool tv, not cool.

10 comments:

  1. Sounds like you don't really get along. Too much neglect and you will be forever shunned.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've tried talking to my penis but he has a limited repetoire.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hahaha! Forgive me for the SATC reference, but you have finally given voice to Charlotte's "depressed vagina."

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow, it seems like your va-jay-jay is being an asshole.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yeah, some day vaginas will rule the world.....

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thankfully, me and my penis have an unspoken code of silence.

    P.S. I found you on The Bloggess' site. I'm currently running on a contest on my blog for a signed copy of her book:
    http://themainland.net/contest/target-bloggess/

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'd always choose cookies for breakfast over chips. Always.

    ReplyDelete