Tuesday, December 20

Christmas Traditions ... then and now.

THEN

Before my parents got divorced and therefore before Christmases became awkward…… we used to decorate the Christmas tree as a family. That meant ………tinsel.

If you don’t know what tinsel is, it’s the silver stringy shit that people put on their tree to make it look pretty… or IMO to make it look like silver stringy shit threw up on it.


fa la la la la ..I look like crap


Especially our tree. I swear our mum liked so much tinsel on the tree that you couldn’t even tell there WAS a tree underneath all the tinsel. That’s not even the worst part.. If you can believe it. The worst part was the fact that my mum insisted we put the tinsel on the tree ONE PIECE AT A TIME! Do any of you know how fucking long that takes? I’ll give you a visual…. Tinsel packs usually have like 300 pieces in a pack and my mum liked to put on 2 or 3 boxes. And I’ll say it again.. one at a time. We tried to make it fun… like when my mums back was turned, my dadwould take a whole handful and throw it on.


Have a Stringy Silver Christmas


You had to be careful, though… if she caught you doing that she’d make you take it all off and put it all back on… you guessed it… ONE AT A TIME. This went on and on all night long until my mum was sufficiently frazzled and the three looked like a big silver stringy mess, just how my mum liked it.

I don't even think they sell tinsel anymore.... or at least, I hope they don't. I really don't understand the purpose of it. Other than making your cats want to eat your tree and then you spend the entire Christmas season finding puked up tinsel and sparkly poop.


Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, You'll be cleaning up til New Years!


Not to mention you find that shit for YEARS. I swear there was still some in my boxes that I've moved across country.. TWICE. Damn static electricity.



NOW

After we all grew up and moved out and started doing separate family events for Christmas .. we decided to find a way to recreate the fun we had on Christmas while decorating the tree. To do this my sister and I would insist on decorating for Christmas before my mum came up for Thanksgiving cuz it irritated her to NO end.

Apparently you’re not supposed to decorate or celebrate Christmas until after Thanksgiving. We’d purposely get the tree up with lights and decorations on the tree and in the house… even putting on some Christmas music to put her a notch just above the batshit crazy scale.

someecards.com - I wonder if it's illegal to beat your children if they are now adults.


I guess Christmas is about driving parents (or at least my mum) crazy.



Thanks to Cheesy Bloggers for this weeks writing prompt!

7 comments:

  1. You're an Evil Genius. I love it!

    ...

    I also have an urge to eat some tinsel now.

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  2. Hahahha they BETTER still sell tinsel! My sister always got into arguments - she liked tinsel and white lights, and I liked garland and colored lights. But now they have cats so yaaaay no tinsel! I don't think my mom minds - it clogged up our vacuum like a beeyatch

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  3. believe me I know ALL about putting tinsel up on the tree one piece at a time. However, I have to say that once it its on it does look quite beautiful. sorry kiddo

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  4. we did tinsel when I was a kid. I hated it. We graduated to garland. . . you couldn't garland AND tinsel, apparently that violates some christmas decoration by-law, so I liked the garland better. Now we do ribbons and stuff.

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  5. LOVEEE This! Yes, Christmas is all about irritating the hell out of your parents by creating your own traditions. Even if it's all in fun!

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  6. You know, I don't see tinsel around much now that you mention it. My husband and I never used it because of the disgusting/potentially fatal cat factor you so accurately described.

    My brother, sister and I don't try to annoy my mom at Christmas anymore, but we generally achieve it anyway.

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  7. Sparkly Poop. That's funny. But I still bet you don't have peanuts laying around. How does that happen?

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