Sunday, October 21

how thongs are ruining the economy

the other day I was listening to the radio on my drive into work ... and I heard about Christina Aguilera on Chelsea Handler's show "Chelsea Lately" ...I don't really like either of them so I kind of tuned out.. until I heard this..

yes.. that's right.. Christina doesn't wear underwear.

I'll give you a minute to let that sink in.

Are you sufficiently disgusted yet?

OK ... moving on. So I was thinking about it ... and I wondered who else likes to go commando. Are there many of them out there? Could she be the girl sitting next to you on the train? Do they really enjoy the uncomfortable seam in their skinny jeans?

I started thinking about the right underwear to wear ... because there is a right and wrong here. I have very logical reasons... and this is my analysis.

I can't see this image without thinking of the League of Funny Bitches Podcast.. thanks Noa

Going commando... though "free" as it might be is just a yeast infection waiting to happen. Think about it. Tight jeans, rubbing... it's just all kinds of wrong. Plus.. anything that Christina Aguilera does has clearly got to be in the WRONG category.. So pantiless is out.

this made me laugh SO hard

Thongs.. while they are sexy and usually come in lacy varieties... are ruining our economy. Think about it. You pay the SAME price as regular panties but for LESS fabric. I'm sure while wearing them you feel uncomfortable and in need of more support to you go out to buy more panties and in turn are spending TWICE as much as a regular person who just wears regular underwear. It's going to become the downfall of our society... I'm telling you right now.

no one looks this good wearing bikini underwear, I assure you.

Bikini underwear MAY seem like the right choice here... but there's a fine line. That's right .. the bikini line... if you don't get the right size for these puppies .. you will look like you're being tied up like they do to chickens to keep them all together. Do you want to be a spring chicken? I didn't think so.

see? cute on everyone!

Boyshorts are clearly the right choice in this discussion... and not because you get the most fabric for your money so they are obviously the financial choice... but also because they are comfortable, sexy and what I wear on a regular basis.... and I'm always right.

I hope this was educational for everyone!

OH.. and if you want to laugh so hard you almost pee and have to run awkwardly to the bathroom at work while everyone gives you questioning looks... you should check out the League of Funny Bitches Podcasts... unless you already have, in which case.. you have chosen correctly.


  1. Actually, I have a pair of boy shorts (no thongs) and those things tend to bunch up in my ass, too... So, um... hm..

  2. but it's the sexy kind of bunch up ... so it's ok.

  3. Boyshorts are CLEARLY the choice. They are always good looking :) (And all I wear)

  4. YES ... a boyshort ally!